About a hundred — no, make that a thousand owls swooped down the yard of the Manor. Being the prized seeker of one of the best quidditch teams in Europe had made Harry more popular than ever. Everyday he received about a hundred pieces of fan mail. But this, it was just record-breaking. Hermione and Ron were rooted on their spots, staring in awe at the thousand owls swooping down their yard.
“Bloody hell, Harry!” Ron was the one who broke the silence. “This is just… just…”
“Absurd!” Hermione finished for him, still gaping at their yard which is now covered with different shapes and sizes of letters.
Harry could only just nod as he agreed with his two best friends. He could understand fifty, or let’s say a hundred per day is alright, but a thousand?! It was just ridiculous. He stood beside them, his mouth still hanging open as he looked out at the sea of letters. Ginny jogged down the stairs to look for Harry, Hermione and Ron.
“Do you know, there’s about a thousand owls out–” but was cut off when she saw the condition of the yard. “Oh. My God.” Her eyes were as large as saucers.
“Hey Harry, Herm, Ron, Ginny!” Then the shouting woman’s hand flew to her mouth.
“Dear Lord! What’s this?” It was Gabrielle Shanton, another of their housemates.
Ron pointed outside “Fan mail.”
“Oh my.” That was all she could say.
“I’m home!” A voice called out from the foyer. “Hey guys! What’s up — oh!”
This time, it’s André Brendan. He’s, well, another housemate.
“I know.” Harry spoke for the first time. “Help?”
A thousand letters and two hours later, six people sat exhausted on the porch.
“Really, Harry. Next time you get a thousand love letters, gather them up on your own.” Hermione wiped her brow.
“Wait. Look up.” Andy pointed to the sky.
Above them, a lone owl circled the sky. Then finally dropped a letter on Harry’s lap.
“I guess, we were wrong: There aren’t a thousand, but a thousand and one.” Ginny grabbed the letter, her nose crinkling in distaste at the glowing ‘Will you marry me?’ in the letter.
Harry looked horrified. This is getting way too ridiculous. A thousand and one!
“Come on Harry. Cheer up! It’s not everyday you get a 1001 love letters.” Ron grinned and everyone just burst out laughing.
“It’s not funny.” Harry snorted and promptly crossed his arms.
And everyone just laughed harder.
The letters were brought inside a little while later. If gathered together, they formed a small mound the size of the living room couch.
“So, Harry. What are you going to do with them?” Gabbie pointed at the heap of parchments.
“I don’t really know,” then flopped himself on the floor beside Gabbie.
“Well, Mr. Popular, these letters cannot stay here in the house.” Hermione kicked a parchment that rolled away from the heap.
“You know, Harry, between the two of us, you’re the one getting 1001 letters. Shouldn’t you be a bit flattered?” Ron asked him. Being a chaser on the same team as Harry, he gets fan mail… but not a 1001 pieces.
“I was at first. But 1001 is ludicrous! And if you read them, there’s only one thing they want – and that is to marry me.” Harry rolled his eyes.
“Don’t you want that? Ladies falling at your feet, asking you to marry them?” Andy grinned.
Harry looked at Andy. “You know I don’t like that. I’m not like you.”
“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with me.” Andy protested as they all started laughing at him. Andy crossed his arms, a determined grin on his face. “There’s definitely nothing wrong with me.”
Ginny wiped her eyes. “Okay, enough of that. Harry, what do you want to do now?”
Harry thought for a while. “Uh… I really would want to escape from these letters. At least for a while.”
“Then, what do you propose we do?” Ginny leaned forward to hear her roommates’ proposals.
Hermione sat on the couch beside Andy. “It’s quite simple you know. We take Harry off the bachelor market.”
“Umm… we what?” Gabbie asked Hermione.
“We take him off the bachelor’s market.”
Ron sat beside Hermione. “And how do we do that?”
“We’ll get him a girlfriend.” Hermione looked at Harry.
“A girlfriend. You’re a genius Herm!” Harry stood to hug Hermione.
“Well, could you just stop hugging me now?! I still need to breathe.” Hermione detached herself from Harry. A smug smile plastered on her face. “About the genius thing, I know. I get it all the time. And stop calling me Herm.”
Harry gave her a sheepish smile. “So, who’ll be my girlfriend?”
“I know, I could set you up with some girls I know.” Andy volunteered.
“No, we couldn’t do that. This is just for pretend, right?” Ron asked, and everybody nodded. “So, we need someone who knows already about the plan.”
“So that leaves us to three choices. Me, Hermione and Ginny. Why don’t you do it, Ginny?” Gabbie looked at Ginny, who had a confused look on her face.
Ron shook his head. “Nope. No can do. Best friend rules.”
“Best friends what?” Hermione asked Ron, a little puzzled. “How come I don’t know that?”
Ron patted Hermione’s shoulders. “Well, this is only for guy best friends. Best Friends’ Rule no.10 states that ‘Thou shalt not date thou’s Best Friend’s Sister – especially if she’s younger than you.”
“Oh come on Ron. You just made that up.” Andy said.
“And what if I did? You got a problem with that?” Ron sent Andy a pointed glare.
Ginny then sat on the armrest next to Ron. “Sorry Harry, I cannot help you with your dilemma now. Ron’s speaking for me.”
Harry smiled. It would be awkward to date Ginny, even just for pretend. Besides, she was like a sister to him. “Hey, that’s okay. Uh, Gabbie?”
Gabbie backed up a bit. “No way, Mr. Potter! Also, I’m seeing someone right now.”
“Oooh. Who’s the guy?” Hermione leaned forward to face Gabbie.
“Ash.” She simply stated.
Andy looked surprised. “Ash? Asher? You’re seeing my brother?!”
“You got a problem with that? You got roommate rules?” Gabbie raised an eyebrow.
“Stop it, you two. Umm, Mione…” Harry used the nickname they used if they need something from Hermione.
Hermione’s eyes widened. Why did she have to propose this plan? “Not me! Back up there a minute Harry!” then, she looked around. Seeing the expectant looks she was getting, she surrendered to her fate. “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”
“Uh-uh.” Everybody’s face lit up.
Hermione heaved a sigh. “Fine.” Then, Harry proceeded to hug Hermione while shouting “Thank You!”
“Me and my stupid plans…” Hermione muttered.