Billy Goats Gruff

Gibbs worked on bending the board that would be the outside of the boat. This was a tricky job, but he looked forward to all the time he had to do it. This was the first Saturday that he had off that he didn’t find some excuse to go into the office.

Now Gibbs was in heaven. There was only one thing that would make it better, but that would be breaking rule 12 of Gibbs’ rules. That just wasn’t something he wouldn’t do–not even for Kate.

The landline started to ring in the basement. Gibbs secured the board in the planking to bend it to fit his boat. Walking over to the phone, Gibbs answered it. “Gibbs.”

“Hey, Bossman,” said Abby. She sounded like she had been drinking.

“Abby,” said Gibbs. “Where are you?” He was getting ready to drive the lab rat home.

“I’m home,” replied Abby. “Where are you?”

“I’m at home too, Abs,” said Gibbs. “You called me, remember?”

“I did?” said the woman. “Oh, yeah, I did. I wanted to know if you want to come over and have some drinks with me and Tony and Ducky and Gerald and Kate.”

“What are you drinking, Abs?” asked the ex-Marine.

“Well I’ve had several Fuzzy Navels,” said Abby. “Tony is being boring and just drinking beer. It makes him a jolly fella. I heard that in song once.”

“Yeah, by Tom T. Hall,” said Gibbs. “So what is everyone else doing?”

“Ummm,” said Abby. “Ducky is showing Gerald how to pick up a glass without using his thumb. You’ve ever tried that one? It’s hard, but it can be done. They are also drinking Long Island Ice Teas. Since Gerald is out of rehab.”

“I had forgotten that Gerald was being released this weekend,” said Gibbs. “He must be loving being free of the rehab center.”

“Oh, yeah,” said Abby. “He is on his fourth Long Island. That is how happy Gerald is.” Abby started to laugh.

“So what is Kate doing?” asked Gibbs. Knowing Kate as well as he did, she was holed up in a corner watching everyone remembering things to tease them with when they were sober.

“Oh, Kate is on the computer rewriting Billy Goats Gruff, and you are now the troll!” said Abby into the phone.

“I’m the what?” asked Gibbs.

“You know–the troll that threatens to eat the goats,” said Abby. “We are the goats and you are the troll.”

“Why is Kate rewriting the story?” asked Gibbs. He knew he would be sorry for asking.

“We thought it would be fun,” said Abby. “Kate thought of it because I have a copy of the book–I am going to give it to a friend’s baby. She said you were the troll in another life.”

‘Oh, great,’ thought Gibbs. ‘Kate thinks I’m a grumpy old man.’ “So I am so loved by all,” said Gibbs with a sigh.

“You are loved, Gibbs, but sometimes you can be a hard ass,” said Abby. “You’ll see when Kate is finished with the story. She wants you come over and read it when she is done.”

“Abs,” said Gibbs. “I am working on my boat. It’s at a time where I have to be here. I am laying the skin down, and the wood can only be in the machine to bend them for so long.” He was trying to be nice and get out going over there and having to police the group.

“Kate,” yelled Abby off into the room. At least Gibbs didn’t get it in the ear. “Kate, Gibbs doesn’t want to come over and hear your story. Maybe we should let him read one of your other stories before we give him the Billy Goats Gruff one?”

“Hello, Gibbs,” said Kate.

Gibbs smiled. Even with Kate drunk, she sounded… ‘Don’t go there! You know where it leads!’

‘Yeah,’ said that voice in Gibbs head. ‘It will lead to me kissing that woman and making her remember it forever.’

“Shut up,” said Gibbs.

“What was that, Gibbs?” asked Kate. She knew she hadn’t said anything to him to get a shut up.

‘Oh, Christ,’ Gibbs thought. ‘I said that out loud.’ “It’s nothing, Kate,” said Gibbs. “I was just talking to the TV.” He had the TV on, but he didn’t have the sound on very loud.

“Oh,” said Kate. “I would like you to come over and read my take of ‘Three Billy Goats Gruff’. I did it up special version just for NCIS.” Kate started to laugh.

“Kate,” said Gibbs. “What have you been drinking?”

“Oh, I’ve had a couple of Sex with the Bartender,” said Kate. “Did you know Ducky was a killer bartender?”

“Yeah, I did,” said Gibbs. “Who do you think tended the bar at my last wedding?”

“Oh,” said Kate. “Well if you come over we can have a long slow comfortable screw against the wall, if you want.”

Gibbs pulled the phone away from his ear. ‘What did Kate just say to me?’ wondered the man. “Ummm, Kate,” said Gibbs as he moved the phone back to his ear. “What did you just say to me?”

“If you come over, Ducky is going to fix us a ‘Long Slow Comfortable Screw Against the Wall’,” said Kate. “He says they are to die for. So I thought if I am going to die from it, I want you here to do it with me.”

Gibbs started to laugh. Kate was NEVER going to remember any of this, but what the hell. It was funny.

Kate didn’t know why Gibbs was laughing and she was yelling at the others that he was having some kind of fit.

“Kate,” said Gibbs as he tried to get his laughing under control. “I’m all right, really. Look, I will be over in a bit. I need to get some boards out of a machine. They should be ready to fit on my boat. I will get them nailed on and be right over. So get Ducky up on his feet and start mixing that drink. I think we will need several.”

“Okay, Gibbs,” said Kate. “I am almost done with your story.”

“I didn’t know you like to write,” said Gibbs. Looking down at his nail, the Marine noticed he had broke a nail.

“Oh, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Gibbs,” said Kate. “Maybe I will let you see them.”

“Maybe about the same time you let Tony see your tat?” asked Gibbs as he smiled.

“I’d rather just show that to you,” said Kate. “But if you are in the room, I guess that will work.”

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes, Kate,” said Gibbs.

“Okay,” said Kate. “We’ll be waiting for you.”

Leave a Reply