I Wish I Could Tell You

There are no words to describe the feeling of falling from a great height, of plummeting down towards the Earth at 9.8 meters per second. I know that because of the physics class I attended two days ago, where we discussed velocity and acceleration. I’m not exactly sure how far up I was when I started this because I’m still groggy from…something.

As if my life wasn’t complicated enough.

My father was recently killed in a battle involving Dr. Octopus, but has been blamed on Spider-Man by the media. My relationship with my boyfriend, Peter Parker, has been going up and down. Now I’m falling off of the Brooklyn Bridge, heading face first towards the icy cold water below.

I know that when I hot that water, my skull will be jammed into my spine, killing me instantly. I want to scream, but my mind is working so slowly I doubt my vocal cords will respond in time. That isn’t even counting the cracked ribs and bruised chest I have now thanks to the Goblin Glider that just slammed into me.

It was just a few moments ago when the Green Goblin struck me, knocking me off of the bridge. That’s what woke me up from my drug-induced slumber.

I can only imagine the look of shock behind Spider-Man’s mask, as I started my trip towards oblivion. I’m not worried, though, because I know the truth. I know that, despite the rantings of J. Jonah Jameson, Spider-Man is a good and decent person. He is a hero in every sense of the word. My father trusted him without question.

Where another person would concentrate on continuing the battle with the Green Goblin, in allowing their testosterone to dictate their actions, I know that Spider-Man is going to save me. That is what he does.

As the air rushes past my ears, howling like a subway train, I imagine him crying out to me, his arm outstretched ready to fire a web line out to me.

Maybe I’m biased in thinking this way, not that it matters with the way my thoughts are running right now. I know more about Spider-Man than even he himself suspects. I know that behind the façade of bad jokes is the heart and soul of the man I love, Peter Parker.

I know why he does it, why he puts on that ridiculous costume and throws himself in front of death day in and day out. It’s the same reason why my father did it; because those with the ability to do so must rise to protect those who can’t protect themselves. Even after all of the pain he has suffered through his short life, he still doesn’t hesitate to help his fellow man. He has so much love to give and I’m pretty damn lucky to be the one to be on the receiving end of it.

So, even as I rocket towards certain death, I know that my personal super-hero is on his way, my knight in shining armor. He doesn’t know that I know his secret; I made the decision not to reveal the extent of my knowledge of his life. When he does finally tell me, then it will be the time to begin planning for the future. Marriage…children…retirement. I will know then that he truly trusts me.

I can feel the web line make contact with my foot; he’s caught me!

I feel a pain suddenly in my neck and despite all that is going on, the sound of rushing air and the unusual popping of the Goblin Glider’s exhaust, I actually hear my own death as the sudden stop snaps my neck.

It is almost instantly that my perceptions change and I see my limp body being hauled up by Spider-Man. There is a frantic rhythm to his motions and I now realize that the fogginess that had previously handicapped me is now gone. There is no more pain in my chest; there is no more sound in fact. I can still hear, but there simply is no more noise. That is the best way I can explain it.

I see him cradle my body and a wave of anguish seems to wash over the world. Colors disappear and everything seems to be gray in hue and tone. A final straw has been reached in the life of Peter Parker and I want so much to reach out to him, to tell him its okay.

It’s not though, as I catch the stray edge of a dark thought. Behind the Spider-Man mask, Peter was realizing that the life he had imagined with me was no longer a possibility. I shudder as the next angry desire runs it’s course through his brain as he begins envisioning the death of the Green Goblin for what he has done.

In that moment, I also became aware of so many other things that I now am having trouble comprehending all of it. Images of the future swirl around me even as I feel something pulling me upward. I see that Peter will battle the Goblin and that even though it will appear that he dies, he will return years later to torture his foe. A twinge of jealousy wraps itself around my heart as I see Peter marrying Mary Jane Watson, only to lose her as well when he refuses to stop being Spider-Man.

I’m being taken somewhere else, someplace peaceful and I think I hear my father and…oh my God…my mother calling me! I want to go and I don’t want to go, because I know it will be a very long time before Peter and I will be reunited. A lifetime, in fact, and I know…I feel it in fact…that he will never stop loving me through his entire life.

A flash of truth runs through my mind: we were meant to be together. Fate…destiny…whatever you want to call it has been interrupted by the madness that is Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin. Oh Lord…Harry’s father is the Green Goblin! This twisted madness is too much and now I see why Peter is so angry; I see now the awful reality he has had to keep hidden away from me so that we could have a “normal” relationship.

Words cannot describe the love I have for this man as I realize how deep his feelings for me go. I think I can actually feel his heart breaking and I want to cry, but there is no time. I have to go.

Oh, Peter, I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me. I wish I could tell you how much I love you.

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