Oh Crap

Residency wasn’t at all what I thought it would be. I thought I would just be working on patients, saving lives, you know- the normal stuff. I was an idiot. You know those souvenir shirts that are like, “I went to –state exotic destination here- and all I got was this lousy t-shirt”? Well they should have one for the residents here at Seattle Grace…it would go a little something like this: “I got accepted to one of the best surgical residencies in the country and all I did was fuck my boss, baby-sit an Alzheimer’s patient (who is also the mother of the girl you have a crush on), work late hours (then proceed over to the bar to get wasted), get syphilis, and operate on a heart in an elevator.” Don’t get me wrong, but this hospital has more drama than my high school did.

“O’Malley!” Oh crap. I turned around to see Bailey staring me down. That may seem funny, because she is shorter than me in stature, but when she stares you down, you feel smaller than an ant-well, not an ant, smaller than an ant…a cell…an atom. “Why are you just standing there? Get back to work!” I quickly gathered up all the charts that I had set down on the counter at the nurse’s station, muttered a “Yes, drill sergeant” under my breath and shuffled off to my next room. Burke was already there, probably anticipating my arrival. He had his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“You’re late O’Malley.”

“I’m sorry Dr. Burke.” He stared at me expecting something. Oh crap. I clumsily shuffled through the charts to find the right one and opened it up. “The patient is Cynthia Pearl, a 46 year old female who has come to us complaining of headaches that have occurred almost everyday for the past six months. She hasn’t been taking any aspirin or acetaminophens …” I rattled off.

“Oh they are really bad migraines, you should feel them…they make you think your head is just going to explode one second, you know, KAPOW!” The patient chimed in and made big hand gestures to emphasize what she had to say. She seemed overly excited about things, kind of like Babette from Gilmore Girls. Yes, I watch Gilmore Girls and yes, I am a man. I get it, okay?

“So what’s your plan of action Dr. O’Malley?”

“I’d say run some tests, order a CT scan.”

“Okay.” He walked out of the room, and the patient turned to look at me.

“How long was he waiting for me?” I asked her.

“Oh, about five minutes, dear. He was looking so angry; I thought he was going to shit steel pellets or something.” She laughed, I didn’t.

“Oh crap.” I walked out of the room shaking my head, and continued my rounds. I really hoped I was still his guy. I was his guy on day one, also the day when I was labeled 007, licensed to kill. But I had been improving significantly.

After I had finished rounding on patients, I went to the locker room to get some money out of my coat pocket for lunch. I walked in to hear what I thought were Cristina and Meredith’s voices.

“So do you think he’s kind of cute?” I heard Cristina ask.

“Well, yeah he’s cute in that puppy-dog sort of way.” Meredith answered. I had heard that line all too many times from women who didn’t want to date me anymore. That and the ever famous, “I love you like a brother.” I hoped they weren’t talking about me. I poked my head around the corner to see Meredith and Cristina sitting on the bench, looking at a picture of not me, but a German Shepherd. I sighed, relieved.

“You would think he’s cute, he’s a Shepherd. Haha, get it?” I winked at Meredith. She just scrunched up her nose at me, but she was smiling. Cristina just shook her head and gave me an eyebrow raise that practically shouted “GEORGE!”. Meredith was still getting over Dr. Shepherd. I knew that was kind of mean on my part, but at least she sort of got a kick out of it. Meredith ran her hand through her hair and went back to looking at the picture.

“So, should I get him?” Cristina asked. The question was obviously directed towards Meredith, but I interrupted anyways.

“As long as he doesn’t ‘burke’ up the wrong tree! Haha, get it? Burke, bark…ah Cristina, I’m sorry. I’m full of really crappy jokes today.” The two women glared at me and I turned back to get my money.

“Don’t quit your day job George, comedy just isn’t your thing.” Cristina patted me on the back and walked out with Meredith.

“I wasn’t planning on it, but thanks for the advice anyways.” I mumbled, slammed my locker shut, and caught up with them in the hallway. We all walked down to the cafeteria where we met Izzie. The blonde was already seated at our usual table, eating an apple and flipping through a medical journal.

“Is there anything interesting happening around here today?” Izzie asked. “I got this woman who is having triplets, but one of the babies is really underweight in comparison to the other two. We’re probably going to do a C-section later today.”

“Let me guess, you get to work with Dr. Hooker.” Cristina said referring to Addison Shepherd. The neonatologist wasn’t exactly popular around here.

“Lucky you,” Meredith said as we all looked at her as if she was insane, “At least you aren’t stuck with your ex-boyfriend or- well, whatever he was, all day. Shepherd’s got me on this case, a ten-year old boy came into the hospital today and he had fallen off his bike into a broken bottle. I had to find every single shard and stitch him up. Good thing he wasn’t a pain. I hate kids.”

“Good thing you didn’t go into peds.” Cristina noted.

“I just hate them today, I think. Or I think maybe I just hate today.” She ran her fingers through her hair and put her head down on the table.

“Well, on a strange note…Cristina wants to get a puppy.” I said, turning to Izzie. She looked at Cristina like she was nuts.

“Do you have any idea how much work a dog is? With this job and a dog? You’ll be so stressed…I don’t think that is the best idea, Cristina.” With that, Cristina handed the picture over to Izzie without any expression on her face, then leaned back into her chair and folded her arms across her chest in an I-told-you so-manner. There was an, “Awww! He’s so cute! Look at those paws! You HAVE to get him!” Girls. I still don’t have any idea what goes on in their heads. I pierced the leafy greens of my Greek salad with my fork and sat back in my chair and looked around. Izzie was still chatting with Cristina about the dog, but I looked across the table, and she was staring right at me. Meredith Grey was staring right at me. She had this inquisitive look across her face, and she was sort of smiling at me. I turned around to make sure McDreamy wasn’t hovering over me or something. He wasn’t. So she was staring right at me. I felt like one of those idiots that you look at and then they point at themselves like, “Who, me?” and its like, “Yes, you are the only other person in this room…duh.” But I digress.

“George, what do you say we go out for dinner tonight? Just you and me?” The question was popped out of nowhere. Cristina and Izzie turned to look at me, but then pretended not to be listening and then pretended to go back to their puppy business.

“What?” I couldn’t believe it. Was she actually asking me that? Yes. Was I almost leaping out of my skin? Yes. Was it a date? I didn’t know.

“What do you say we go out to eat tonight?” She propositioned again.

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