The Filling of the Void

She sat, staring into the fire, on the large couch in the common room of her dorm. The red, yellow, and orange flame dancing together creating shadows over the room mesmerized her. One word came to her mind. Complicated.

Why did her life have to be so complicated? She should be happy, not miserable. She had a boyfriend. He was only four years older than her, but he was a professional Quidditch player. He seemed to really care about her, but what her feelings for him? She wasn’t sure anymore.

Why was her mind so clogged? Because she had been spending all of her time with someone else. Someone that made her feel the way her boyfriend couldn’t. Someone who made her feel wonderful, special, and amazing. Someone who she had laughed, joked, talked, and studied with. Someone who was filling the void in her life. Someone who just happened to be her best friend.

She shook her head and broke the contact with the dancing fire. No, she couldn’t think like this. She wasn’t being fair to him. She wasn’t being fair to her boyfriend. But what else was she going to do? If only she knew. She stood from the couch and slowly walked to the window. She sighed as she crossed her arms and watched the other students play games out in the snow. She wondered why she couldn’t be content, happy, and carefree. But she was whenever she was with him. She shook her head again. She had to get these thoughts out of her head. She could not be falling for her best friend.

She glanced out the window one more time. Her arms fell out of their crossed position to her sides and her thumb played with the large silver ring on her middle finger. Her boyfriend had given it to her as a sign of his love for her. She wore it all the time, but lately she had stopped paying much attention to it. She sighed once more and laid her head against the window. Closing her eyes, she heard the voice she had been trying to get out of her head.


She silently prays for her head to stop playing games with her.

“Hermione, are you alright?”

His voice was laced with worry for his best friend and he began to close the distance between them. He stoped directly behind her and watched her reflection in the tall window. A single tear fell from the small crease of her left eye. Reassuringly, he placed his hand on her shoulder and pulled her to him. Her back rested against him as he wraped his arms around her waist.

Hermione’s eyes opened and she gazed at the refection in the window. She noticed that he was doing the same thing, and when their eyes met, he gave her the same smile that always made her heart skip a beat. She couldn’t help but smile in return. He placed his chin on the top of her head. They stood that way for a few minutes, saying nothing, yet saying everything.

After what seemed to be half an hour, he released her from his arms and grasped her small hand. He led her to the window seat, where they sat down together, her hand still in his as he watched her with his concerned eyes. Hermione glanced at him, making eye contact for a moment before breaking away from his intense, green eyes.

“Mione? Mione, please tell me what is wrong?”

“Oh, Harry,” was all she could say before tears took her over.

Harry pulled her to him, wrapping his right arm around her shoulders, “Shhh…it will all be alright, Hermione. I’m here for you. I always will be.”

She cried for a few more minutes before she could speak again.

“This shouldn’t be happening to me.”

“What shouldn’t?”

“This. All of this. I am not supposed to be happy.”

“Hermione Granger, that is complete nonsense. Of course you are supposed to be happy. Everyone is.”

“Not me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because it’s the truth.”

“And do you have any evidence to back this up?” he joked.

“Now is not the time, Potter.”

“Sorry, Granger.”

She sighed and leaned into Harry’s side. Then she realized what she was doing and quickly jumped to her feet. She then turned to face the confused 16 year-old boy who was still on the window seat.

“No. I can’t. I shouldn’t be doing this!”

“What is it? What’s wrong, Hermione?”

“I have a boyfriend!”

“Yes, I know.”

“And I am happy with him!”

“Point being?”

“I-I wish I knew.”

Harry stood up and placed both hands on her shoulders, “Hermione, I don’t know what is going on in the brain of yours, but I do know that I care for you and would do anything to make you feel better. You are my best friend and you mean the world to me. I only want to see you happy.”

“You make me happy.”

“And you make me happy, my Mione.”

She glared at him for a minute before stepping out of his reach.

“That’s where you are wrong. I am not yours. Even though there is a large part of me that wants to be yours, reality kicks in, and truth is I’m not.”

“You want to be mine?”

Hermione closed her eyes tight and silently cursed herself for not thinking before she spoke. Silence took over the room, but was interrupted by a splattering tear that fell from her face.

“A void, Harry,” she whispered. “You fill a void in my life.”

“I’m confused.”

“You fill a void. The time I spend with you…it takes place of the time that I can’t spend with him.”

“What are you saying?”

“I am saying that…I am saying that I don’t really have any feelings for you.”

Harry took a step towards Hermione and held his hand out to her, but she refused to take it. He came closer to her, so she stepped back to get away from him. The two made eye contact and he searched her eyes from some truth to what she was saying. Once he found what he was looking for, he took another step towards Hermione, making her back up and lose her balance. She fell over the armrest of the couch that she was just recently sitting on. Harry couldn’t help but laugh as his best friend struggled to get off of the couch. After a moment, Hermione joined him in the laughter. He walked to her side and held out his hand in hopes to help her up. She took it.

He raised the laughing Hermione off of the couch and they stood, face-to-face, with barely any room in between them. They stared into each other’s eyes, still laughing. She didn’t know what was going through her mind as she got lost in the green pools that lay before her. All she knew was that, at that moment, she was happy. Slowly, Harry began to close the gap, his face coming closer to hers. His lips lightly brushed up against her and her eyes were open in complete shook. He then broke the kiss, looking back into her eyes.

“What are you doing?”

“I am kissing my best friend,” he smiled.

“Okay. Just checking,” she leaned in, this time to kiss him, with her eyes closed. She didn’t know what came over her, just that it felt right. And for that small moment, all was right with the world.

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